An After Effect of Trauma That Isn’t Talked About Enough
Trauma has become quite the buzzword in today’s world so before we go any further, I think it is important that we define what trauma is. According the American Psychological Association, trauma is the emotional response to a terribly distressing event that overwhelms one’s nervous system and ability to cope and recover. In the mental health field, we say that trauma is a “normal, human response to abnormal events”. What is not talked about enough is the post-traumatic growth process and implications of trauma on a human’s development and nervous system. So often in my practice I hear my clients say how they feel like they are behind in life in comparison to others their age, or that they struggle with things in day to day life that “seem easy for everyone else”. Those clients are onto something.
Generally speaking, trauma and traumatic events sensitize our nervous system and we begin to operate at the day to day level, in a state of survival essentially. Trauma and being stuck in survival mode for even a relatively short amount of time impacts so many areas of human development. Healing following a traumatic event is very possible but we must meet ourselves where we are at and release the natural tendency to compare ourselves to others around us. We all have different life experiences and those who have not experienced an event that was traumatic for their mind and body had the opportunity to develop critical life skills that traumatized individuals likely couldn’t. If you are in a state of panic, edginess, survival you are not biologically ABLE to learn and develop daily living skills. For example, those with a traumatic background often feel behind in financial literacy and planning, critical thinking skills, time management, emotional regulation, and social emotional skills.
If you are reading this and you have one or more traumatic experiences in you life history, please know that you are not alone. Please know that yes, you may be behind others in this life based on archaic, capitalistic standards. That feeling of being behind isn’t because you are defective or worthless. Your brain has been so focused on surviving that you couldn’t have learned how to plan for retirement or feel comfortable meeting and maintaining new friendships. Your nervous system has been wired to survive. I truly hope you are at a place now where you can begin to thrive. Soothing and calming one’s nervous system is no simple feat but your grit has gotten you through so many other hard things up until this point. As a society, we must get ahead of this feeling that so many experience by asking our developing children “what happened to you?” and then teaching them unconditional love, safety, and social-emotional skills.
“After all, when a stone is dropped into a pond, the water continues quivering even after the stone has sunk to the bottom.”
DISCLAIMER: All views and information on this site/post are my own and do not represent the opinions of any entity whatsoever with which I have been, am now, or will be affiliated. The information on this site/post are not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any mental illnesses. I, the author, do not in any way guarantee or warrant the accuracy, completeness, or usefulness of any message and will not be held responsible for the content of any message. Always consult your personal physician(s) for specific medical and/or mental health advice and/or treatment.
