Stop Holding Yourself Responsible For Other Peoples’ Perceptions of You
What if I told you that you are not responsible nor in control of other peoples’ perceptions of you? It is really none of your business. It is likely that, at some point in your life, you started trying desperately to make it your business in order to feel safe and secure in the world. I have this conversation with my clients often and honestly…we could all use this reminder! In this blog, we will explore why it is actually impossible to change/control other peoples’ perception of us and by trying to do so, we will only continue spinning our wheels.
So, let’s do some breaking down of this concept. Perception is reality, so this means that every interaction we have with other humans leads to them forming a perception of us (and us of them). As we have more interactions with someone, we continue adding more detailed information and observations based on that person’s behaviors, values, communication styles, and so much more. The key is that this entire human interaction process is very subjective. How others view us is greatly influenced by their own personal beliefs, values, mood state, experiences, etc. Someone else’s perception makes for a very shaky foundation for our identity. We don’t realize just how unstable we feel because we have been moving through life completely disconnected from our bodies, needs, emotions, and experiences.
If you panic or go blank when someone asks you who you are or to describe yourself, please know that you are not the only one! Reconnecting means being present in your life and body. This is a vulnerable process. I suggest using your new insight to approach yourself with compassion and inner child curiosity. It is your turn to get to know yourself and create a foundation for your identity and life that is strong and unshakable. I urge you to journal on these questions after you finish reading this blog: How do you want to perceive yourself? How would your highest/best version of yourself show up in the world? What is that version of your self’s core values, beliefs, passions, sources of joy, ways of navigating intense emotions? Am I carrying anger/sadness/resentment toward any past versions of myself? If so, what did that version of myself really need that they didn’t get and how can I give myself those things now? These things ARE your business and it is time to take your power back!
“What people in the world think of you is really none of your business.”
DISCLAIMER: All views and information on this site/post are my own and do not represent the opinions of any entity whatsoever with which I have been, am now, or will be affiliated. The information on this site/post are not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any mental illnesses. I, the author, do not in any way guarantee or warrant the accuracy, completeness, or usefulness of any message and will not be held responsible for the content of any message. Always consult your personal physician(s) for specific medical and/or mental health advice and/or treatment.
